It’s been over three months since I last wrote! So much has happened in my life this year. 2024 has been heavy with even more learning and growth. Sometimes I wonder if I could get through them all.
It takes sooo much courage to embark on a transformation journey. Along the way, we must be prepared to make hard decisions and let things and people go. As we change, our surroundings also will and need to change. There will be so many people whose journey won’t resonate with ours anymore and that’s required in order to complete the transformation. Be courageous. Be brave.
There were moments when I wanted to just throw the towels in and give up. But I’ve come too far to give up now. Life continues to present disappointments and frustrations. I keep most hardships within me. Why should I burden you all? You have your own troubles I’m sure. I also cannot share every little detail because of many reasons. There are some things that are meant to stay just with me.
I tend to go deep within as I sort through the life lessons. When I’m serving you all, I set my troubles aside and focus on the moment and encounter. I feel blessed to do what I do and I do my best not to take each moment and each encounter for granted. There were moments when it hit me and I shed a little tear, remembering the pain. As I get older, the pain and suffering have accumulated and become memories and scars. Some faded and became distant, but some are still quite raw.
For months I was feeling tired and mentally exhausted. There have been so many challenges presented to us and I’ve held out long enough when many probably would have fallen long ago. They were wearing me down and I had to sit with my intentions and purpose. After remembering why I chose to be here during this time, I reconnected to spirit. I now feel wiser. I have boundaries. I guard my heart more carefully. I no longer give all of myself so freely to whoever asks. I assess and respond accordingly. And I realize that I can rely on ME. I can always trust ME to show up and step up because I have the power of the entire Universe within me. And so do you because we are all ONE.
I learned the difference between being kind and being nice. These words have been thrown at us so freely and often exploited. I strive to be kind by staying true to who I am. I strive to be kind by being honest and authentic. I must be kind firstly to myself. I say NO without guilt. Lying because you’re being nice isn’t kind at all. You could mislead someone down the wrong path. You could really hurt someone. And then you would feel guilty and ashamed. You can be true and kind, by telling the truth in a nicer/kinder way.
Who I am can be too much sometimes. I care too much. I help too much. I coddle too much. I need to instill more balance. Take a step back and let people learn their lessons. Let them be. It hurts to watch others suffer and struggle, especially when you see why they are where they are. But we all have our own lessons to learn. “Shut up and walk away. Don’t make their problems yours. Don’t take on their burden.” This is my new mantra.
And then I would hear news of their health decline, or other devastating news. So many “I told you so” moments. And then I would regret not speaking up when I had the chance. But would they have listened? Maybe, maybe not. Whenever I have spoken up, I was belittled and ostracized. They didn’t want to hear the truth. They were only seeking validation. And I’m not here for that. I’m being my authentic self when I’m truthful.
There is no other way because it didn’t happen the other way. What’s happened is meant to happen. Let it go. You just do your best at loving you and respecting other people’s journey. It’s a fine balance, isn’t it? How would I feel if someone takes my lessons away? I would be robbed of such priceless and valuable, maybe even life-saving lessons.
So these days I walk a little lighter, I feel a little lighter. I’m in a good space. I trust that everything always works out for my Highest Good. I’m surrounded by good hearted people who resonate with where I am and where I’m going.
For now, be content in the truth that it is what it is. Today is done. Tomorrow is a new day. We get to choose how we want to experience our reality. You know what I’m choosing. JOY. PEACE. ABUNDANCE. POSSIBILITIES. MIRACLES.
Thanks for reading. Hopefully I’ll write again soon. XOXO Be blessed.